An Invitation

If I would open the door, would you want to come in?
I could tell you my secrets, and the places I've been...
But if I told you my truth and revealed my lies
Would we be saying hellos or goodbyes?

If I were to light a lamp, would you want to see
All those ugly monsters that are living inside me?
And if I uncovered my soul and just left it bare
Would we be able to go on from there?

If I were to stand before you naked in the light...
All my sins and darkness layed wide open in your sight...
Would you turn away from me...would you go away?
Would anyone be brave enough to stay?

If my heart were open and I let you see within
Would you share your secrets... the places you've been?
Could we share guiltless kisses, slow dancing in dark?
Could we make a fire burst forth from the spark?

Could you take your mask off now and bare your soul to me?
Do you fear the consequence if you set it free?
You can live the dream out...or you can fantasize
I wait bare in the darkness for your eyes.

My someone

There is someone, somewhere, for me

I know him well in fantasy.

A crimson mouth and laughing eyes...

His words are truth, his heart can't lie.

He's looking around.....

As he covers ground,

Just strolling by, carefully,

Looking for me.

And here I am, I wait for you...

Anticipate a love that's true,

Your lips to kiss and flame desire,

With words that set my heart on fire.

I stroke my hair...

Imagine you there,

Waiting for dreams to come true,

Waiting for you.

Fire

I want to feel a passion burning

Like raging Hell fires in my soul

I want to be consumed in this heat

Like smoldering ashes on white coal

Let his sweet tongue strike me

To light my Spirit's fire

Burning me, Scorching me

Let the flames shoot higher

I want his hard lips to burn my skin

I want strong fingers to singe my hair

I want to slide inside of his mind

Be engulfed in the flames there

Let my lover's words spark

Passion's funeral pyre

I would melt into him

Reborn in Desire

overpowered

His touch lingers on my body

Intimate bruises aching still......

He knows the secrets within me

And i can feel my spirit yield.

In gentleness and savagery,

I am subjugated to His will.

Hands and lips that can brand my skin

Are those that will enslave my heart,

And there is no way to pretend

And no way i can outsmart

Emotions i barely comprehend

That are overpowering this heart.

i wonder if this is healthy.....

What if visions don't come true?

What if He remains a dream in me

No real man that feels this too....

What if i'm living in fantasy,

Is there life when the dream is through?

Each day i think i must grow strong....

Resist the Serpent's caress,

But He haunts me all night long

In dreams filled with wantoness .

I know with Him is where i belong

And my body is His to possess.

His touch lingers on my body

Intimate bruises aching still.....

He knows the secrets within me

And i can feel my spirit yield.

in gentleness and savagery

i am subjugated to His will.

Blind Spot

Have clouds given way to rainbows
Or is that just a trick of light?
Will I wake to find shadows
Where I dreamed of colors bright?


And can I really breathe you
Or is it only frozen air?
Can it be I misconstrue
And my senses are impaired?


Does this path I'm walking on
Truly have a different view?
Has the Earth turned round again
and has life begun anew?

Leaves in the Wind

The one I dream of is as strong as me,

With courage to let his passions free.

He can brave the storm that brews in my mind,

And keep all the secrets that he finds.

I will battle the demons inside his soul

Kiss his scars and make him whole...

The one I dream of is as weak as I,

Knows fear, knows pain, and sometimes he cries.

He will comfort me when I weep,

And scare away the old demons in my sleep.

I will hold him close to me, in his fears

When he cries, I'll kiss his tears...

The one I dream of knows desire and need,

We both understand physical greed.

His kisses will set my body on fire,

And I will answer him with hungry desire.

My tongue dancing waltzes upon his rough skin

Trembling like leaves in the wind.....

The River

The river, so much myself,

Angry waves raging at the shore---

Only to be held back;

Just once more.

Sad water, tired of living,

Hitting the docks, softly crying.

Mud-water, dripping wet tears;

Scared of dieing.

The Gypsy

Gypsy, Gypsy, running wild--

Less a woman, more a child--

Living, laughing, and being free--

All against Society.

Gypsy, Gypsy, such a fool--

Don't you know the silver rule?

Conform with the group.

(Like so many vegetables in vegetable soup.)

Lady, Lady, Can't you see?

Blinded people--never free.

Hating, hurting, and so untrue.

Never caring what you do.

The Judas Kiss

The Judas-kiss is love that lies

Devotion that betrays.

It's a thief with alibies.

It's a spouse that strays.

Affection born of malice,

Friendship born of hate;

Beware ye of the Judas-kiss--

Love that prevaricates.

The Judas-kiss is pleasing pain,

Meant only to deceive.

It's passion that's only feigned.

It's a spider's weave.

Emotion in an abyss;

Passion in despair;

Beware ye of the Judas-kiss--

It's love that does not care.

My Life

This barstool I'm sitting on

Somehow reminds me of my life

Spinning--Turning--Twisting--Dizzy

Sometimes I'm as hard as

This cold steel frame. It holds me up

In the same way it holds this seat.

Sometimes I'm as soft as

This old worn-out vinyl cover.

And without this hard metal frame. . .

I would most surely collapse

And I could no longer comfort

Or support anyone again.

North Star

For Grandma
10/27/1916 01/30/2009

You will be my North star
I will raise my eyes up and know
Where I am standing

When I'm lost and scared,
I will remember your words
And have direction.

When my hopes seem dim,
You will shine down on me.
I will see clearly.

I will not pine for you
Because there you will be
Glowing in the sky.

I love you Grandma!

A Promise to a Child

I dreamt of you long ago.
You were a promise to a child.
You whispered in my dreams
Like music sweet and mild

The monsters in my sleep
feared you even then
You would be their conqueror
You would be my friend.

I dreamt you – a silver wolf
Guarding the forest of my fears
It was upon your silver fur
That I dried childish tears

The beasts that hid within my woods
Dared not put you to the test
For surely you'd destroy them too
And bury them with the rest

I dreamt of you like a demon
Fed upon my new formed breast
You were both fear and desire
When sleep did not give rest

You took me in my fitful sleep
And willingly took the blame
When the fantasies I most wanted
Left me covered in my shame

I dreamt of you as my angel
When I nearly failed to sleep
I'd hear those sweet dream whispers
of promises yet to keep.

Passion

I dreamed, sweet dreams, of you last night.......

Kissing me in the pure moonlight.

Nothing has ever felt so right

As having you holding me so tight.

I turn my head to see your face,

My body melts in your embrace

Tingles dancing every place.......

Our hearts pounding at a lover's pace.

Desire is flaming in your eyes,

I can feel your hot passions rise....

Pulsing...throbbing...against my thighs

Soft sounds of your breathing mixed with my sighs

Upon my breast you lay your lips

You tease me with toothy nips

A secret place your finger dips

My wetness dripping down my hips

Your thumb grazing across my clit

fingers move deeper in my slit

Still feel your kisses on my tit

My body trembles, giving in to it...

Your fingers now twine in my hair

As you pull me, to kiss you there....

Sucking you in as far as I dare.

Starving for you....gasping for air.

In my mouth I can feel you shake

with ev'ry hungry taste I take...

Pull my hair 'till I think I'll break

From all the passion that you awake

I guide your hands back to your side

Allow my mouth to slowly glide

As I release your shaft outside.

You feel my tongue as I let it slide

Flicking and dancing onthe eye

Lips squeezing 'till I hear your sighs

And feel muscles tense in your thighs

Whispering my name, soft, in your cries.....

You pull me up upon your pole

Forcing your fire into my hole

And spreading chaos in my soul

Breaking me and yet making me whole.

Rhythmic movements between our hips

Molding my back to your fingertips

My body held within your grip

Savoring each other with our lips

Passions soar higher and higher

Our sweat mixing as we perspire

Bodies burning as hot as fire

As we finally sate our desire

And I collapse upon your chest

Feeling your skin beneath my breast

Your eyes speak more than you express

And promise more than mere words suggest.

The Wolf Dream

In my dreams you pace the forest

Silver fur that shines in moonlight

Savage heart beating in your chest.

I know you are near by, somewhere

Smoke and stone eyes that can see me

Eyes that have that all knowing stare.

You've brought me here to wait for you

In the dense forest of your mind.

Wolves in spirit and this place too.

I listen for your soft footfalls

Instead hearing the wrenching howls

Of my wounded lover's calls.

Your soul's blood falls free on cold ground.

Human lies cut like a hunter's trap

and the vultures gather 'round.

Your nostrils flair with labored breath

Spirit hovers waiting your choice:

The battles of life or death

No game where you nip at my heel.

You hurt, and growls fall from your lips.

I absorb the pain you feel.

Your blood dries and the vultures go.

We lay side by side in the dark

As cool nighttime breezes blow.

Touching my soul

You were in my dreams again...

Seems like you are always there...

touching my soul...making me whole

Leaving me longing everywhere

Waking up not feeling quite sane.

I wonder if I should fear

the way you invade my sleep

touching my soul...making me whole

knowing the secrets I keep

Reaching for you...but you're not here

Reality beckons to me

but I never want to go

You touch my soul....you make me whole

I accept what I don't know

Wanting to live the fantasy

Just One Night With You

Just one night with you
Baby, Just one night with you
It would do, my whole life through
To have just one night with you

Just one look--myheart is gone

Mister, how you turn me on!

It sure would feel right

All right!

Laying with you all night.

I'd do whatever you wanted to

If I could have just one night with you.

Just one night with you
Baby, Just one night with you
It would do, my whole life through
To have just one night with you

Baby when you look at me

I know just where I want to be.

I'd know just how to do you right

All right!

Keep you busy all night!

I'd make you want me badly too--

If I could have just one night with you.

Just one night with you
Baby, Just one night with you
It would do, my whole life through
To have just one night with you

You could do all right by me,

You could set my passion free

I would treat you right

All right!

We wouldn't sleep all night--

Nah, there'd be something much better to do

If I could have just one night with you.
Just one night with you
Baby, Just one night with you
It would do, my whole life through
To have just one night with you

My Reality

I gave my life for glowing dreams

Of what I felt life should be:

I built stone-walls 'round flowing streams,

And I pretended I was free.

It seemed so easy in younger days--

To believe the fantasy true.

I didn't see clouds of grey

Were reality in view.

Everything was painted black on white.

The lines were quite clearly drawn.

So certain was I of my rights--

Never doubted the coming dawn.

Then, when rain came the very next day

Well I could hardly bear to see. . .

My world flood in shades of grey,

That were my reality.

Ectasy in Hell

Everyone is dying–

Or at least they're trying--

What with their artificial highs

And exaggerated lies'

They might as well. . .


Seems while they're living

They're always taking 'stead of giving.

Shooting up and popping pills

Dealing so's to make their deals.

Ecstasy in Hell

Talking to a Wall

Talking to a Wall, Baby, Talking to a wall
It doesn't matter what I say
I know I don't count at all.
I wish that there was a way. . .
Babe, to make this whole thing fall . . .
But trying to talk to you---
--It's just like talking to a wall.

There is this wall between us:

We built it brick by brick.

Each brick contains broken things

That we can't ever fix:

Broken words and promises,

Broken hearts and broken dreams.

Then we used cement of lies

Just to hold it at the seams.

Talking to a Wall, Baby, Talking to a wall
It doesn't matter what I say
I know I don't count at all.
I wish that there was a way. . .
Babe, to make this whole thing fall . . .
But trying to talk to you---
--It's just like talking to a wall.

We used to step over it--

To do what lovers' do,

But now we just lay the bricks

Instead of breaking through.

Brick-by-brick we built it,

And it's getting very tall.

We never talk about it--

It's like talking to a wall.

Talking to a Wall, Baby, Talking to a wall
It doesn't matter what I say
I know I don't count at all.
I wish that there was a way. . .
Babe, to make this whole thing fall . . .
But trying to talk to you---
--It's just like talking to a wall.

Greenback Cage

Pretenders, baby that's what we are.

Trying to be what we just can't be.

A brand-new life, new house, new car. . .

Pretenders baby, both you and me.

All that time we had no money--

Breaking our backs for an hour's wage--

Sometimes, baby, Life is funny,

Lost our love in a greenback cage.

Thought cash was our only need.

Now, baby, well we just pretend

That we didn't lose it all in greed.

There's nothing left of our souls to mend--

No dreams left to make come true. . .

Packed all our hopes inside our wallets--

Pretenders baby, That's me and you---

Pretending what we can't forget.

Not Your Scratching Post

You take my words and twist them around

Trying to make me something I’m not

Ev’ry time I speak up you shut me down

Guess you don’t like my original thought

It was to love, honor and cherish...

Such pretty words you promised to me

Lately seems Yell, holler and perish

Is more like what its getting to be

Retract your claws and please shut your jaws

I’m not your damned kid to reproach

You’re not going to make me over

I’m not gonna be your scratching post

You think that if you buy lots of stuff

That I should agree with all you say

But when I had nothing it was enough

And I was joyful most ev’ry day

God gave me my mind to use as I will

This is my heart to love whom I may

The soul within me you can not kill

These are the things you can’t take away

The Tigress

Like a tigress she sits,

Forever guarding her young.

Ready to strike

At the invading beasts

Who threaten her cubs.

The tigress' afraid--

But fear makes her stronger.

Prepared to fight--

Protects her cherished nest--

The babes more than her.

The tigress watches:

Alert and violent---

Wait for danger

And it will always come

To those that you love.

The tigress, she dies

Still watching over her cubs.

Her final breath

Unheard by suckling babes,

Drinking her last milk.

Clouds of Silver-gray

You can work all night without relief--

And never see the black.

Seem's like there's something bigger

That always holds you back.

You can fill-up your life with goodness--

Still never wear the white.

Seem's someone-else's halo

Always blocks yours from sight.

I say that life is a prison,

Except with bills to pay,

And beneath this sky-so-blue

Lay clouds of silver-gray.

Double Suicide

Starlight over the ocean. . .

. . .Sands of white. . .

The waves crashing in. . .

. . .And pure moonlight. . .

Just

Right.

We stand by the shore. . .

. . .We hold on tight. . .

The moment has come. . .

. . . The time is right. . .

T

O

N

I

G

H

T. . .

Our lives together. . .

Begin.

Lies, Lies, and Alibies

Lies, lies, and alibies
A smile that doesn't reach the eyes
A wedding band holds no ties
And lust is always on the rise
With more lies and alibies

You have pretty words, and such sexy eyes.

You have a body that could mesmerize.

So easily I could be compromised......

If I'd never once heard such lovely lies

Lies, lies, and alibies
A smile that doesn't reach the eyes
A wedding band holds no ties
And lust is always on the rise
With more lies and alibies

Lies come easy on the lips of men,

Heady with lust and drunken from gin.

Too easily they forget where they've been...

Or whom they share lips with in their sins.

Lies, lies, and alibies
A smile that doesn't reach the eyes
A wedding band holds no ties
And lust is always on the rise
With more lies and alibies

Lies come so easily to men like you,

Used to doing what you want to do.

so easily you forget, (when it's through)

Lies you promised to make come true.

Lies, lies, and alibies
A smile that doesn't reach the eyes
A wedding band holds no ties
And lust is always on the rise
With more lies and alibies

Reality

Reality is

closing in on me

Fantasy has left

I'm alone

scared to death

as if I am about

to walk into quicksand

and be

totally swallowed

the past times

I was secure in

have left me

and left me

frightened

God Loves The Rain

The silver clouds,

midnite blue...

Like soft pillows

encircle the earth......

For the moon and the stars

to rest their weary bodies on.

The golden drops,

tiny tears of a tired God

Crying in pain

from the torment brought on

By a recalled wish for life.......

Bathing our world

Of our sins...

Washing away

Our hatred.

And for a little while

We are clean...until tomorrow...

The storm shall cease,

And then Man

shall surface Earth

just to dirty

the Universe again

somehow I know, God loves the rain.....

Don't Look At Me

I thought I had it all worked-out.

I thought I acted well.

I thought I had fooled ev'ryone,

But somehow you could tell.

You see the "me" that's almost dead--

The girl he tried to kill

By suffocating her spirit,

And destroying her will.

You see the girl I used to be,

But I still see the pain:

A jagged scar cut 'cross the heart,

A mind that's not quite sane.

So close your eyes, don't look too deep.

No-one can save her now.

Best save yourself from sure defeat...

She cannot break her vows.

Vows she made to save her soul,

To take the pain away.

Vows she made just to live her life.

The vows she can't betray.

So close your eyes, don't look at me.

I've nothing left to give.

The dreams she had don't matter now,

She has no life to live.

It's what he sees, it's what he gets...

The bitch that I've become.

"Used -to-be"s never count for much--

Prince Charming never comes.

Once she may have seen him in you,

Now, she just does not see.

"Could've been"s never count at all.

Sweet God, don't look at me.

It's Over

I think we both know it's over...

We're just too scared to call it a day.

We pretend what we cannot feel...

We're so afraid of what they'll say

We've know each other for so long,

In the beginning we were "just friends".

I think we were better off that way,

Because true friendship never ends.

We were too young to heed the signs..

We were too brazen to think ahead.

I guess we "knew it all" back then,

We never cared what our people said.

All our big dreams never came true,

And this tension hangs in the air...

It's filled with words I dare not say,

And feelings we no longer share.

Now our children are growing fast...

Too big to cushion the verbal blows.

Your aim is better with passing time.

It's not the life I thought we chose.

The years have changed the both of us,

We've become people we despise:

Toy dolls filling a plastic house

Pretending we believe our lies.

I think we both know it's over...

Seems like indifference has prevailed.

It's just our pride that's fighting still...

We just won't admit when we've failed.

Larceny

You took my soul before it was offered...

You stole my re-mended heart....

Laughing as I cried "You thief!"

You ripped off my pride...

Then you went away.

Sometime between now and forever---

I want them returned.

You lifted my soft, tanned body

And hid it within the clouds of passion.

You held my eyes in adoration and love...

And never gave them back ...

And when I claimed murder--You laughed

Saying "But you're still breathing."

Then you stole my breath away.

Since that time, I have travelled

Straight to Hell, where I bought this mask

I wear, so no-one can tell I'm empty

Or suspect my spirit is hollow.

This way, when you finally return

And I claim back what was mine,

No-one will know the difference.

The Warrior

She holds her pain tight to her chest.

It's her shield, and it's her armor.

Sheltering wounds beneath her breast--

Mighty stands the Warrior!

She's ready to fight or die

As her fears provide the muscle

Against the love she can't deny.

To her it's war, and "War is Hell."

Her anger is honed like a fine spear--

Determined to be the victor.

She stabs at him who dares come near--

Mighty stands the Warrior.

She welcomes pain like a friend

From battle wounds that never healed.

She vows to fight it 'till the end--

And though she cries, she will not yield.

Our World

I woke up late this mornin'...

Thought: "There went another day..."

One Hundred problems waiting for me,

Guess they never just go away.

My man and I fight alot.

Life is hard and money's tight...

I work twenty-five hours a day,

Try to rest, but he wants a fight.

We used to believe in love...

We used to believe in dreams,

But fairytales belong to children,

Now we just believe in his schemes.

We've learned control is power,

We both want the upper hand.

We manipulate each other now,

Trying to sustain the command.

We both knew this could happen,

Thought that we would change the rules.

We would not play Society's games,

But the World doesn't suffer fools.

Our home became my prison,

And our love became a lie.

What we've become is saddest of all---

We can't even see eye to eye.

I think our World's gone crazy--

I believe the end is near,

No-one loves anyone anymore...

Seems like nothing’s left but fear.

Your Plaything

sometimes i wish i'd never met you,

but you couldn’t leave me alone......

you lied to make me love you...

you made me believe...

you just had to have me...

(you never could leave

well enough alone).

i was your puzzle

to put together anyway you desired.

yet when my pieces didn’t fit "right"

you were cold and angry---

so you simply

scrambled my pieces

all over the place

then you went on to

a brand new toy.

ANGRY

Angry words fill the air

I can breathe them, see them

in your eye’s angry stare

as you scream them

Angry slurs stain my soul

darkens blood in my heart

hardens me, like a knife

rips me apart

Angry curses beat me

I can feel every

word you swear from your lips

that once kissed me

The Memory Remains

Part of me still loves you, Jay,

The "me" that's hidden deep inside.

She only lives in yesterday--

Where she can be by your side.

When I sleep, then she awakes,

I'm just seventeen and too sure.

My broken heart no longer aches

And your love is mine once more.

I welcome you in my sleep--

And those days of glorious youth

When I gave you my heart to keep,

And I knew your words were truth.

Baby, It's been some long years

Since I was naive seventeen.

There've been so many tears

I've cried for what might've been.

I still awake from old dreams

That remain colored by your lies,

But how real the fantasy seems

In moments before I rise.

I still feel your lips on mine...

Kissing my innocence away,

More intoxicating than wine...

It's almost like yesterday.

My dreams cover up the scars

And old wounds no longer bleed.

I forget how you really are--

I pretend I'm who you need.

I forget that you left me--

That's how real this fantasy seems.

I'm the only woman you see,

You still love me in my dreams.

I often get up weeping;

My heart still stinging with the pain,

And I wish I were yet sleeping...

And we were in love again.

I tell myself I'm crazy--

I recall how we really were...

Torture myself with memory--

I remember you with her,

And the drugs that you abused,

And how violent you could be.

You made me feel so cheap and used,

Yet I still refused to see.

Guess I couldn't bear the guilt

That I had failed you in some way...

Couldn't face that the dreams we built

Were already in decay.

I admit I share the blame

For the life that we cannot live,

And I will always bear the shame

Of refusing to forgive.

I should have trusted you more.

I could have given you one chance.

Pride I guess was the reason for

Giving up on our romance.

I wonder where would we be

If I'd given love one last try....

Would it now be just you and me...

Or would we still've said good bye?

Hindsight provides less vision

than scholars will ever admit,

And dreams can become a prison

When a person should forget.

Now we live on distant planes...

Like two strangers who never meet.

Only the memory remains

Of a love that once was sweet.

I forgive you, though it's late

For the prices we must pay...

But sometimes I regret this fate...

Because she still loves you, Jay.

This Love Is True

Years go by, it just stays the same.

Baby we keep playing this same old game.

You hurt me--then I'll hurt you--

Still swearing that this love is true.

Lie to me baby, 'bout where you've been,

And I'll act like I beleive you again.

I'll pretend I don't smell her on you,

Still swearing that this love is true.

I'll lie to them all--friends and family--

I'll say that you've been so good to me,

And pretend I feel the same toward you--

Still swearing that this love is true.

You just keep pretending I'm your only one--

And I'll play right back that our life is fun.

No one will ever see me cry for you--

Still swearing that this love is true.

Ad Man's Dream

The act of love is a tired excuse.

Pretty words used to give a reason

For believing lies and ignoring treason.

What an absolutely ideal ruse

To get someone to take abuse.

The act of love is an ad man's dream

Sells it all from cats to cars

Gives us a reason to hit the bars....

We starve ourselves and try every cream...

"Big money!!! Big Money!!!" the ad men scream.

The act of love is a bad alibi.

A special look used for a cover

for a game you'll lose when its over.

What an absolutely perfect lie

To cover your murder when you die.

The act of Love is worse than war.

In that there are rules to the fight.

In love, there is no wrong nor right.

Foe unseen,absolutely no hold barred.

I'm still not sure what the effort is for.

Modern Society

What a mess people are today;

Nothing to do . . . Nothing to say . . .

It's all been done--all been said

By the forgotten, by the dead.

People are laughing (Big boys don't cry).

Pretending to be happy--Spreading the lie.

Running on empty, dusk 'till dawn

Trying to "catch-up", but everyone's gone.

Babies are crying and Mama don't hear

(Too busy working to hold her babes near).

The teens are gamblin' and Dad is drunk--

Grade-school kids are "shooting-up" junk.

What a mess we all are today--

We believe these stupid games we play.

Never asking or saying why.

Not caring if or when we die.

Painted Grey

This whole world is painted grey.

It only varies in the shades--

No real contrast anyway--

Because the color always fades.

No red. No blue. No black or white--

There's just that something in-between.

No total wrong, nor certain right,

Just those things that might once have been.

There's no such thing as love or hate

Despite what the poets say.

I know people just live their fate

And this world is painted grey.

Sometimes you win

Sometimes you win, Sometimes you lose--

You know the risk is always there.

You take your chance, You pay your dues,

Waiting for someone to care.

Sometimes you give, Sometimes you take

From the one who belongs to you,

Knowing the chance your heart can break

When he finds somebody new.

Sometimes you win, Sometimes you lose,

You know that love's not always fair.

Be sure it could happen to you--

If you're not 'round to share.

Sometimes you smile, Sometimes you cry,

It's hurting him, It's hurting you--

Playing games when you don't know why

You do the things you do.

Sometimes you win, Sometimes you lose

You know the risk is always there

You take your chance, you pay your dues

Waiting for someone to care.

Suffer the Little Children

What about the children,

Those innocent babies we hold?

Can we spare a thought for the lives that we mold,

While we ruin their world,

While we destroy their lands?

Suffer the little children

At our very own hands!

What about the children?

Just how much will they love us?

How will they care for and how will they trust us?

We're ruining their futures

With the rules we choose to make.

Suffer the little children

For the laws that we break!

What about the children?

Haven't we a thought to spare

For those helpless little babies in our care?

The words they'll hear tomorrow

Are words we speak today.

Suffer the little children

For the things that we say.


What about the children?

What things will the have to tell

About we who've claimed to love them oh-so-well?

Will they tell thier babies

The lies we swore were true?

Suffer the little children

For the things that we do.

The Survivors

I was still just a little girl

When my Mama's Daddy died,

But a little girl grows-up fast,

Once she's seen her Mama cry.

When Mama had his hand to hold

All our lives were sweet and bright.

Then Grandpa's death left Mama cold,

Her world just never came right.

I guess Life takes back it's own--

Leaves the survivors all alone

To deal with guilt and unshed tears--

Looking back at those wasted years.

I was yet to be a woman

When he ripped my soul apart.

Took what was left of my childhood

While he was breaking my heart.

When he held me so close to him--

He was all that I could see.

My young heart would just drink him in.

I never thought he'd leave me.

I guess Love gets back it's own

Leaves the survivors all alone

To deal with grief and shedding tears

Looking back on those pain-filled years.

I thought I was finally grown

The day my first child was born---

But the trials of a family

Just left me tired and worn.

I thought I'd been through it all--

When a new fight had begun:

My husband beat by alcohol

When I'd hoped the war was done.


People, man, We just kill our own!

Leave the survivors all alone

To deal with guilt and grief and tears

Living with pain all our years

Promises that You Keep

You ask me what I want from you,

As though my thoughts ran deep.

A simpler wish could not be made--

Just promises that you keep.

Those broken words are solemn lies,

Made just to ease your mind,

And all those lies are cheap good-byes,

And courage you could not find.

If words were brick, then you could build

A house two stories tall.

If words were guns, I'd be dead.

I'd rather you not talk at all

Those promises--they always break

My trusting heart in two;

Then you ask why I just can't

Put anymore faith in you.

You ask me why I want to leave,

As if I want to go,

When what I want is to have back

The sweet man I used to know.

I hope that he's in you somewhere--

Even if fast asleep.....

May he waken and return to me

The promises that you keep.

It Didn't happen

I wore silken threads and a painted smile.
Pretending to be someone else a while.
Stolen moments of sanity
Pretending that I was not me.
I left my ugly beneath my bed.
Followed the voices in my head.
I played sweet romance with you
Imagined that my dreams were true
All the time I knew I was the lie
It was just better to live than to die.

I didn't see you cry.
I closed my eyes.
It didn't happen if I didn't see
The pain caused by me.

I tread the walk that angels feared.
Laughed at those who dared to near,
To chance the heat of my fire,
To risk it all on hearts desire.
I was never yours to take.
Imprisoned by my own mistakes.
Monsters watching in the shadows
Gremlins follow in the medows,
And all the joy you offered me
Was not enough to set me free.

I didn't see you cry.
I closed my eyes.
It didn't happen if I didn't see
The pain caused by me.

You clothed yourself in truth and hope,
But I knew you couldn't cope...
To see the dead beneath my mask,
Or drink the poison from my flask,
Or breathe the garbage in my air,
Or view the snakes within my hair,
Or see the bloodstains on my heart,
Or witness trouble that I start...
To see the demon I'd become
Would surely leave your soul undone.

I didn't see you cry.
I closed my eyes.
It didn't happen if I didn't see.
The pain caused by me.

But I wore silk threads and a painted smile,
Just to spend time with you a while...
To be held within an angels arms,
To feel myself be safe from harm,
To have peace for a moment's time,
To pretend that you could be mine,
If the truth be told...it couldn't last.
You had a future, I, a past,
But I pretended for just a minute or two...
That I could be loved by you.

You didn't see me cry.
I just said goodbye.
It didn't happen if you didn't see
That your love could hurt me.
　
　
　
　

The Color of Fantasy

Michael works in a factory.

He dreams of days to come.

Goes home cold and lonely,

When the day is done.

Still, he keeps on dreamin'--

There must be a better way.

Pretends he sees the colors

Behind the shades of gray.

Jennie runs the corner store.

She calls it a "stepping-stone".

Tells us she'll go real far,

But it looks like she's goin' alone.

Still, she keeps-on reachin'

For things just too far away.

Insists she sees the colors

Behind the shades of gray.

On Saturdays they wash laundry.

Sit on the bench near the phone.

Watching the colors go 'round-and-'round--

Together, and still alone.

Still, they keep the fantasy,

Try to live it everyday.

Convinced that there must be colors

Behind the shades of gray.

Lead Me Away

Lead me away , Oh lord, Lead me away.
I can't bear another cross on me today
Temptations come,--I fall astray
I beg of you Lord, just lead me away.

Oh Lord, you know it's so easy to lie....

When trouble seems to be avoided that way.

Truth is hard when it causes pain.

Evil tempts me Lord. Lead me away.

Lead me away , Oh lord, Lead me away.
I can't bear another cross on me today
Temptations come,--I fall astray
I beg of you Lord, just lead me away.

Oh Lord, you know it's so easy to cheat.

People say to me "Life's not fair anyway.".

I've never had much in my life,

Evil tempts me Lord. Lead me away.

Lead me away , Oh lord, Lead me away.
I can't bear another cross on me today
Temptations come,--I fall astray
I beg of you Lord, just lead me away.

Oh Lord, You know it's so easy to steal.

There are so many bills I must pay,

Money is scarce, times are hard.

Evil tempts me Lord. Lead me away.

Lead me away , Oh lord, Lead me away.
I can't bear another cross on me today
Temptations come,--I fall astray
I beg of you Lord, just lead me away.

Lord, you know it's so easy to do wrong things...

Instead of just kneeling down to pray.

Strengthen my faith to do your will...

Evil tempts me Lord. Lead me away....

Lead me away , Oh lord, Lead me away.
I can't bear another cross on me today
Temptations come,--I fall astray
I beg of you Lord, just lead me away.

A Haven

Everyone needs a place to hide
We all need some place to rest
There is a haven for us all
Upon Jesus' Holy breast!

A haven built by our God's grace,

A temple in the form of man--

And all who wish may meet him today--

To find glorious peace again!

Everyone needs a place to hide
We all need some place to rest
There is a haven for us all
Upon Jesus' Holy breast!

A haven from our Earthly fears,

From all the horror that we know.

A gentle hand that will dry our tears

When it's to Jesus that we go!

Everyone needs a place to hide
We all need some place to rest
There is a haven for us all
Upon Jesus' Holy breast!

The Name of Love

Battered and bruised, a child cries . . .

Believing the mother's lies.

The name of Love, her excuse

For child abuse.

"Spare the rod and spoil the child"--

The meaning more than defiled.

The name of Love, a handy lie

For a child's cry.

A Mothers Prayer

I yelled at my kids, again, today...

Let them forgive me, Lord, I pray.

I am human, my patience thin....

And (oh!) the trouble that they get in!!!

Lord, You know how much I love them.

I'd never place a thing above them.

Even in anger, they mean to me

Ev'rything I want life to be.

So open their hearts Lord, so they know

All the love I wish I'd show.

Open their eyes Lord, so they see

Everything you want them to be.

Open their minds Lord, help them cope

In a world that seems without a hope...

And hold their hands Lord, to guide their way,

Then just shut my mouth, Lord, I pray.

You Never Win

(For my distant sister)


It's a hard life that you have led--

You survive however you can.

It's like you live from man to man,

But I miss the part of you that’s dead.

You dream about those "better" days

That you swear are going to come.

I don't know what you're hiding from

There in your fantasy-filled haze.

I guess you must feel all alone,

I only hope, someday, you'll see

That life can't be a fantasy--

And you need a life of your own.

I know my life must seem easy,

I've managed to survive the pain

And I've managed to break the chain

Of our violent family.

There's so much trouble you fall in,

Yet, you still come up smelling sweet--

Always landing upon your feet.

It just seems like you never win.

Dream Child (for Toni)

She sees you through her girlhood dream:

Her first-born fair-haired child--

And sometimes, to me, it seems

She was much more than beguiled

By the blue-eyed girl that you were.

I never could compete.

I'm too-much, by far, like her,

Dark as dusk and none-too-sweet.

You were given all the charm.

You were born full of grace:

With the ability to disarm

us all with your pretty face.

I would not mind being like you,

If you were more like me.

I wish only that she knew

We see everything differently.

There's no lack of love between us--

Just a gap in our age...

I know that I can trust

In you to help assuage

The anger she's turned against me.

Guess I'm not what she planned.

I've become Mom's enemy--

You remain her lovely swan.

Feet of Clay

Children, I beg you, don't rush away--

Stop a while with me today.

Our time is short--Youth won't last.

Don't try to grow up too fast.

Because I will miss the babes you are

When you trade my love for cars,

And dates and for all those games

That I no-longer know how to play.

I will miss all of your childish ways,

And all of your loving praise,

For the little things I do

To get a smile out of you.

I wish very much that time would wait--

Give me time to contemplate

The darling babies that I hold

Before time makes us all to old.

Children, I beg you, Don't go away

Stay awhile with Mom today.

Help me make a memory

Before you go away from me

The time will come when you'll know it's true

Mom is not so good clear through

Let me love you while I may

Before you see my feet of clay

In Memory of Grandpa

Husband, Father, Grandfather--

Peacemaker and defender of rights.

We miss you.

Our darkness and light

Depended upon you.

Your laws were ours

You always knew, always cared

Your broad shoulders were always there

To laugh on, to lean on, to cry on

Now we are alone.

God called and you left us.

Your legacies linger on.

Ode to My Countrified Mother

Country girl, born in the hills--

Playing in the street just to get my thrills.

Living in the city aint where it's at

Need the nitty gritty like a hole in my hat

All the busy streets, all the smog and noise,

All the city gentlemen--Can't beat those country boys

Can't beat the wooded parks

Can't beat the general store

And they can't tell you the reason

God put you here for.

Living in the city just don't hit me right--

It's murder in the daytime

And it's worse come the night!

Well, I was born in the "boondocks"

My Mama and Papa too--

Raised on one old torn Bible--

Doin' what I was told to do.

Well the city is fine--for city folk and their kind

But here the peace of the country

Is impossible to find.

So I guess I'll just head for the hill

Got to get me back to the country

Where everything is real.

Steps

(For my Stepfather)

It takes a step to move ahead

Or to move up in any way.

It takes a step to change your life

Or to move on from day to day.

It takes a step to turn around

Or to just kneel down and pray

A step is not so hard to take

Despite what people say.

Dad, you know you are that step

The most important I'll ever take.

You've been there to guide me through

Every decision I've had to make.

You were there to hold me up

When I thought for sure I'd break.

You're my "first step", You are my Dad

A bond no-one can break.

Images of my Son

(written for Richard)

I look upon your tiny face

Impressions time cannot erase

I see you as you'll one day be

Too soon, grown up, in front of me.

One day that tiny head will hold

Secrets from which dreams unfold

One day, I know, those tiny feet

Will proudly march upon our streets

One day your tiny heart will give

Another woman a dream to live

Your tiny hands will someday guide

That other woman by your side

One day your tiny lips will say

Your vows upon your wedding day

Your tiny hands will hold your wife

Together you'll make another life.

Someday those tiny arms will hold

A tiny babe that's yours to mold

Your tiny eyes will see his face

An image that time cannot erase

Grandma's Time

Grandma always said kind things

to whoever I was trying to be

and when I spoke she really heard

Grandma always had time for me

I could tell her almost anything

and even when she didn’t agree

She understood my position

Grandma always had time for me

Sometimes I just wanted to read aloud

So she’d pull me onto her knee

Tell me what a good student I was

Grandma always had time for me


If I got in big trouble

Her angel was all she could see

She’d say I wasn’t at all bad

Grandma always had time for me

Sometimes I’d get so lost

In the middle of a big family

Grandma would just pull me aside

Grandma always had time for me

In my teens my heart would break

She just say it wasn’t meant to be

I could yell, cry and wish he’d die

Grandma always had time for me


She’s older now and I wish I had

More time than there’ll ever be

To show her love and give her thanks

For always having time for me

CeCelia's Poem

I look upon your lovely face,

An weep for what I can't replace.

In innocence, the time is fast--

Your youth will too soon be past.

I watch closely as you play

Knowing that time will have his way

My little girl will grow up soon

No longer singing childhood tunes

Or playing with your Barbie dolls;

Or putting handprints on my walls.

So I worry about the day

Some young man steals your heart away,

And I pray you won't bear the pain

Of love that can't be sustained.

Yet deep inside I guess I know

It's sure to happen as you grow.

I only hope there won't be mistakes

That cause your precious heart to break

I will do all that I can do

To keep that hurt away from you.

You remember that I care

and I will always want to share

Your life, and loves, and hopes, and dreams

Despite how distant I can seem.

I just wish I had the words to say

How much I Love You every day

Answers were easy

When I was just a little girl

Right and wrong was just so easy

Grandpa had all the answers then

So life could not confuse me.

He'd often tell me these stories

Of Indians long ago

When he was finished speaking

Somehow I would always know


The path I should be walking on

Or direction I should head

Seemed Grandpa knew it all back then

I would just follow where he led

Now I'm supposed to be grown up

And know what choices to make

But ever since my Grandpa died

I can only make mistakes

Some have been lucky--some have not

Wonder what Grandpa would say


If he could see his gypsy-girl's

Life as she's living today

Would he forgive talent wasted

And the things I didn't do

Or would Grandpa be angry

I did not live what I knew

He gave me a great foundation

My life could have been more right

But somewhere I started losing

I just forgot how to fight


If the dead can guide the living

Maybe Grandpa is here now

Maybe he's trying to help me

Get things together somehow

If the dead can communicate

And if memories are the way

Perhaps I just need to listen

To the message they convey

If my Grandpa's still here for me

He'll teach me what I must know


He'll guide me through tough decisions

And point out where I should go

It may well be that memories

Of loved ones who've passed before

Hold the answers to the questions

That we've all been looking for.

Self Abuse

For so many years, I was abused.

My mind and body cruelly used

As little more than a whipping-post

By the one who should have loved me most.

Fists would strike, and belts would fly--

I learned to take it--not even cry.

Made myself just as small as I could

And tried so hard to just be good.

Thought that if I weren't so bad

Then I wouldn't make my Mama mad.

My eight-year old mind couldn't see

She was beating herself, not just me.

The Human Race

When I was in school, Hey--I was "cool"!

I hung out with all the ones who would call

My name in dodge ball.

Never knew that I was their fool.

I simply stayed "high", would not be shy...

I knew when to speak of the fame I'd seek,

Or the game that week.

Never thought that my dreams could die.

My folks never knew--Never seen through. . .

I was eating dope to give me hope,

I'd smoke cocaine and wish I were sane.

I wasted my brain

Just searching for a way to cope.

I was a disgrace, a waste of space--

Headed for nowhere without a prayer--

Nearly arrived there.

A loser in the human race.

Nobody's Home

She is playing in grassy fields.

She is miles and miles away.

He can touch her, and her body yields...

But she isn't where she lay.

She can feel the wind brush her skin.

The sun is hot on her hair.

She knows she can fly straight to Heaven...

There are no monsters there.

Jesus will make the Demon stop..

She has been so very good.

Then the Demon's hands touch her top

And her body turns to wood.

She sings "Jesus loves me this I know..."

Just like Mama told her to

When scary monsters will not let go,

Then God will come to save you.

She doesn't scream, she doesn't cry.

You see, she isn't really there.

She hears him groan and she hears him sigh,

She feels her body tear.

The body remains, he is done,

Her spirit continues to roam.

The house is safe now...the lights are on

But there is nobody home.

Pornography

A thousand words is a picture's worth,

But pornography chooses lies

To spread an evil upon this Earth

By the fantasies it implies.

It warps the minds of both men and boys

By confusing real love with lust.

The lives of women it destroys

Between starvation and disgust.

It's artificial stimulation.

It's romance without a heart.

Leads to selfish copulation

With an imagined counterpart.

It's only legal prostitution

With nothing lasting for the cost.

It doesn't need an emotion

It's just money and time that's lost.

You always get just what you pay for--

So long as you don't expect much--

A picture of a souless whore

That you can never even touch.

The Hammer and The Knife

There's a knife that cuts in jagged lines

the artwork of golden dreams.

Lays the canvas bare--showing signs

that love's not always what it seems.

It's better the hammer than the knife

that you choose to cause your pain.

A jagged wound will scar for life--

a hammers blow can be sustained.

The knife is called by the name of Love

the hammer is called by pride,

A blow or a scar is the sum of

the choices from which you decide.

Now the hammer's blow can "knock you out"

and leave you lacking in sence,

It can also leave you with doubts

that love is any different.

Better to heed what I tell you now,

there's never been greater pain--

It's much worse than the hammer's "pow"

and knives cut again and again--

Best to choose the hammer, not the knife--

because a bump will go away.

A scar reminds you all your life

of the love that refused to stay.

Not a Dream

Sugar, Won't you let me comfort you?

Rub your shoulders, like I long to do...

Smile for you when your world seems rough,

I can weaken you when you've been too tough.

I could make your fantasies true.

I think I could be enough.

You have been alone for much too long

Its not much comfort when you're strong

So very lonely when you're weak

Maybe its not just a dream you seek

I’ve been waiting all along

And I could be who you need.

You know it doesn't have to be this way

You are not as tough as you portray

Not a statue with a heart of stone

We were never meant to stand alone

Friendship this long is bound to stay

When it is all said and done

When will you tire of empty places

Those broken dreams and those soulless faces?

Do you think your darkness frightens me?

You know I don’t scare easily.

Darken lines along the traces

Of your heart ~ you might see me.

Ugly Women

You fuck ugly women who cannot compare to me And they live lies and lives of hypocrisy. You act like the martyr-surprised they don’t speak true. Let all your PC buddies feel sorry for you… You never admit that you mislead them too. You’ll never be free of my fantasy You fuck ugly women who will never have my style And their cheap degrees can only fake it a while. The cash in their pockets won’t be paying your bills… Pretending passion but it won’t give you the chills… And those PC hearts cannot give you my thrills… You will be wishing for my naughty smile You fuck ugly women with ice running through their blue veins Who bitch about all their aches and all their pains. Those bodies will sag and you will start feeling old…. And no desire will burn in hearts that are cold. You will be so bored that you’ll long for my bold… And you’ll dream of my fire when it rains! You fuck ugly women who are so grateful for you… You wear a superman cape they can’t see through, Not like me...I would beat you down for your own good, Or entice you to sin, simply because I could… I imagine I’m the only one who would. You are going to remember that too…. You fuck ugly women who have to fake the big O Those uptight bitches who worship self control. They pray to God loud enough everyone hears… And everyone knows you’re the cause of their tears! So weak willed, they couldn’t live one of my years. Sugar, you will miss the strength of my soul. You fuck ugly women who wear their hair short and straight. They dress for success but won’t dress as your bait. You both waste your time being perfectly PC Thinking God will like her better than he likes me. Truth is the only thing that will set you free. You will still want me at the Pearlie Gate. You fuck ugly women, and when I could have been yours! You see me as evil but they are your whores, And all that ugly you see came deep from inside… It landed  on their faces whenever they lied….. The same way my pretty came out when I cried, One day you will wish those tears could be yours. You fuck ugly women but I‘ll still be in your head. Look at them and wish I were squirming instead! You will hate the man who gets to take me away You’ll remember the taste you had of me that day…. When you kneel down at night..  bow your head to pray… You’ll wish it were me waiting in your bed.

Your beast

Heard the howls of your inner beast

He was chewing an oozing wound.

Growling like he was near deceased…

While gazing at the moon.

I took some salt and I rubbed it in…

So he'd know he was alive.

He lunged at me as it bit his skin

But pain let him know he’d survive.

Then I scrubbed it out a bit,

Opened the wound up to the air…

And my healing hand he bit,

Good thing I had a spare.

I scraped away the history…

The wound was sealed with hope,

But I stripped it of its fantasy

And used truth just like a rope.

I muzzled him quite helpless,

And I bound him tight in guilt…

Tried to make the pain suppress

So that his soul could be rebuilt.

Now he growls and glares at me…

Doesn’t see me as his friend

As if I caused his injury,

Or I prevented him his end.
XXYHWX4MVUK2 
                                                               

Bliss

You’ll  require my response and emotion
‘Cause ev'ry kiss from you demands
I ‘ll quiver as I take your instruction,
I’ll tremble beneath your hands.

You may control my body within your grasp
You might mold me unto your form....
But your desire will increase with ev'ry gasp
Do you think you can control this storm?

The demands of your mouth may direct me...
And also the pressure you bring to bear...
I’ll captivate your passion and set it free
With the kisses that I share.

You can paint my flesh with your masculine scent...
You can spray your seed within me...
You cover me until your body's spent.
You can mark your territory.

Tender bruises to  prove where your hands have been.
Swollen lips that will evidence your kiss.
The sweet smell of you permeating my skin....
The precious truth of recent bliss

Unglued

You say you want another

but you don’t act like you love her,

When you are talking to me

About your fantasies…

And I know I understand you

And what you say is true…

But its what you do

That matters.

Does she know all your secrets?

Or do you easily forget

Feasting yourself at my breast?

Would she ever guess

All your pleasure in my sin…

And the taste of my skin?

Or is slipping in

Your regret?

How am I your second best?

I feel so unfairly assessed!

You must be blind as a bat

And stupid with that….

Yet I continue to play…

With my soul in decay…

My heart led astray

Like the rest.

I wonder what she will do

When she discovers the real you?

Does she know that you’re perverse

And I make it worse?

Does she know the beast I fear,,,

As I’m calling him here...

And wanting him near…

I’m unglued.

Dream You

If only I could dream you here…..

I would close my sleepless eyes.

If only I could dream me there

To hear your whispered sighs,

To kiss my lips open like this,

My long fingers in your hair,

To taste the sweetness of your kiss…

Such sweet emotion we could share.

What lovely dreams those would be!

To feel your fingers upon my face…

If I could just feel your hands on me,

Strong hands along my body trace…

My eyes, my cheeks, my lips,

Touch my soul, touch my heart….

My breasts and legs and hips….

I would burn in the fire you start.

I would never wish to wake!

I’d sleep my entire life away,

All for romance sake…

And never live another day....

I long to feel your breath on skin,

As I lay naked beneath your eyes....

Let your mouth begin again,

Kiss my mouth, my throat, my thighs…

My fingers long to stroke you,

My soft lips to graze upon your chest…

But it is to be made one with you

That I want more than all the rest.

Then I would live my whole life asleep,

All my needs would be satisfied,

My body and soul for you to keep…

And my heart layed open wide.

Cutting

I felt the urge to cut again…make a mark to prove the pain...

I’m feeling like I used to feel, when I used to be insane…

Don’t want to feel the passion…it’ll bring me down…

Need my hands on the wheel …and my feet on the ground.

I felt the urge to run again…to  hide inside of my mind…

 And its scary when I go there…’cause I don’t know what I’ll find.

I felt the urge to love ..but it’d be suicide…

Spending my life trying to swim against that tide.

Maybe if I just had a blade … I would carve some small relief.

Just create a little blood stain that would cover up my grief.

My heart is safe if I’m reminded by a scar…

That this rocky path never gets me very far.

A knife is so much safer ‘cause you don’t cut into the vein…

Falling in love is agony but a cut is only pain.

just friends

We fell down like people always do                         

Skinned up our egos and both our knees ,              

Revealed two people we never knew                      

While we were doing just what we pleased.          

I had my rules, and I broke them all,                        

Long after the truth came into light.                        

I stood by and watched your honor fall.                 

I didn’t see you put up a fight.                                   

And I very nearly fell for this                                      

You were so sweet and I wanted more,                  

But you were sinning with our first kiss                   

And making your friend into your whore.                     

What does this say about you and I?                      

Wonder what we will do when this ends   ?

There is no way I could say good bye…

But  how can we ever be just friends?

thoughts of you....

These thoughts of you invade my mind.

Memory of our bodies...entwined…

The sweet taste of your lips... kisses long past due…

The hunger I felt and fed in you…

The feel of your hands touching me…

Your fingers caressing me possessively…

Owning me ~ body, mind and soul…

Making me somehow more than whole…

Could you feel how you made me shake?

Made my legs tremble....made my heart break?

You held my secrets and my sins in your eyes

And I knew there was no compromise…

You bound my spirit in your thrall.

You offered ev’rything and nothing at all.

You somehow reached inside of me…

I was chained when I set you free.

Didn’t you wonder, just a bit,

How it would feel to give into it?

The intimacy that only friendship feeds,

Anticipating our secret needs.

How great the fear of love that’s lost

That we would deny ourselves at passion’s cost.

Yet how great a love we must share,

That even lust could not ensnare.

Drowning in You

What in hell do you want from me?

Why do you keep playing this game?

You make sure I know you aren't free…

But that you want me all the same.

And I’m not supposed to feel for you…

But I’m supposed to keep being a friend.

Don’t you see what I'm going through?

Don’t you see that its all pretend?

This lake is deeper than I can tread…

And I’m feeling like maybe I’ll drown.

Trying to dive too deep in your head…

Those waters are pulling me down.

I just keep on drinking you in though…

Waves of emotion keep crashing on me…

I don’t fight--I just go with the flow.

I should try harder to get free.

But your lake floor knows my true name now…

And the water is a nice shade of blue.

I want to swim but I don’t know how…

I might die from drowning in you.

Calling a Storm

I can feel your words cascading down

Like water falling on the ground…

Like thunder shaking through the trees

And lightening heating up the breeze.

I can smell the storm that’s on the way…

But I don’t run. I choose to stay.

You write incantations on the air

The winds grow strong, yet I dare

To answer back your forceful gale

Let my desire increase the spell.

I raise my hands just to feel the power.

I’m not weak. I never cower.

Your words keep falling upon my skin,

Reminds me where your lips have been…

I ignore your warning thunder.

I don’t care if I’m carried under

Blissful rain or lightening fire.

I want you. I feel desire.

Your words electric within the air,

Piercing through me just like your stare

Full force upon my body whole

Burning my breasts and singeing my soul.

You speak true within this form.

I am strong. I’ll brave your storm.

My Addiction

Your words are like liquid poison. You make me too dizzy to think You take away all my reason And I just want to drink drink drink. I try sipping you down slowly As if it will stop me from waste But your effect remains on me Seems that I’ve grown fond of your taste Your poison… it makes my blood fire And my heart beats out of my chest Its like feasting on pure desire Guess I’m no stronger than the rest I promise I’ll stop tomorrow Like I’ll be so much stronger then Less addicted to my sorrow Want to believe this time I can An addict never means to lie We just can’t deal with what is true I swear ev’ry time that I’ll try Not to swallow so much of you But I know I’ll never succeed You just taste so good going down You satisfy my secret needs And I find I am passion bound I’ve tried to find myself a cure I’ve tasted fruit from other lips But bitterness I can’t endure I seem to taste between the sips You are still the demon I crave The sweet angel I can’t ignore I now find myself just a slave Who can’t resist you anymore I can’t let myself fall for you It  feels like I’m losing control You will never feel what I do I need some armor for my soul Instead I drink more from your cup The heat burning inside my heart I savor as I drink it up Intoxicated from the start.